So you’ve decided you like being single, but you’d also like to date. How can these two desires possibly co-exist? If you’re worried, don’t be. Dating as a solo woman is easier (and more fun) than you think.

If you’re here, you’re probably a happily single woman who wants to start dating. But how do you go about it? How do you find someone else who wants the same, atypical type of relationship you do? Living-apart-together couples are still pretty rare, and most people probably haven’t even heard the term. People who don’t have kids tend to want them, and those who have kids likely want a mother for them. What’s a decidedly solo woman to do?

The good news is, dating as a solo woman is not as difficult as you’re probably imagining. In her book, This Is The Story of a Happy Marriage, Ann Patchett remarks that a single woman who announces she wants to date but not settle down will become very popular. And I think you’ll find that’s true for you as well. A little planning, a little clarity, and a lot of honesty go a long way toward finding an ideal, solo relationship. When you implement the following strategies (and use the free, online dating profile guide available at the end of this post), you’ll probably find more than your fair share of potential partners.

1. Figure out what you want.

Are you looking for a pretty casual relationship? Do you want something with the potential for a long-term commitment, but without moving in, getting married, and buying a dog? Take at least ten minutes to sit down and write or type it out. If you’re dating online, keep that list handy when you’re crafting your profile.

2. Make your intentions known.

If you’re on a dating site, this is simple. Just include it in your profile (remember, there’s a free guide at the end of this post). If you’re starting to date someone you’ve met in real life, make sure you bring this up within the first few dates. You don’t need to bluntly say, “By the way, I don’t want to ever get married, but I do want our relationship to be monogamous and exclusive.” Let it be natural. If you’re talking about what got you back into the dating scene, say something like, “I’m really happy where I am in my life right now. I love flying solo, but I realized I also wanted to be part of a meaningful relationship.” Let that grow over the next few meetings.

Generally, people don’t want to feel like you’ve already plotted out your shared life, when they’re not even certain whether or not they want a relationship with you yet. But that information is vital to making that decision, so don’t hold it back.

3. Be clear throughout the relationship.

Remember that, no matter what your gender or stage of life, potential partners may always feel like you’re saying these things as a challenge. Quick – name a movie where the couple lives happily ever after in separate homes with separate finances. See what I mean? We’re trained to believe what everyone truly, deeply wants is a house with a white picket fence. So don’t be surprised if a few months down the road your boyfriend/girlfriend thinks you’ll be ready to change your mind.

If this happens, be clear. Don’t feel the need to “be polite” and give them a “maybe.” That’s just leading them on. If you know you want to stay solo, say so.

4. Know where you’re willing to compromise.

It may be that you’re willing to make a few compromises for The One. You may even find that you’d like to leave your solo life behind all together. If that’s what you truly want, that’s fine. But when dating as a solo woman, it’s helpful to know where you’re willing to negotiate before you start.

For instance, having a living-apart-together relationship might not be enough for your new/future partner. Would sharing a home ever be a possibility? Sharing finances? Decide what your sticking points are.

Note that as your relationship progresses, it’s completely fine if these things change. It’s simply helpful to have a baseline.

5. Have fun.

Step five could also just as easily be called, “Don’t lose sight of why you became single in the first place.” You’re a happily single woman – you date because it’s something you want to do, not because you need to find a mate. If ‘playing the dating game’ starts to make you unhappy, step back for a while. Re-focus on enjoying time with yourself. Then, when or if you feel ready, dive back in, and enjoy.

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Way too many of these types of lists include things like, “when you’re single, no one is there to judge you when you eat a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s,” and, “You may cry from loneliness, but at least you know you’re not being cheated on.” So for your reading pleasure, here’s a list of seven real perks of being single.

1. Control of Your Time

I don’t know about you, but I love having control of my time. And while I don’t resent the time I spend living on someone else’s schedule, I still prefer managing my day as I see fit.

After spending time at work, it’s wonderful to be able to decide for yourself when you’ll do things. Even little things. I love deciding when I’ll go to the grocery store and when I’ll clean the bathroom. When you’re in a relationship, even these minor events have to be coordinated with someone else. And, again, while that’s not bad, being able to make your own decisions about how you’ll spend your valuable time is even better.

2. Friendships

Know how when one of your friends gets into a relationship, she suddenly has less time to spend with you? And about 50% the time she does spend with you is spent talking about her new partner? That’s all well and good, but the flip side of it is when you’re single, you have more time to devote to maintaining healthy, platonic friendships.

3. Sleeping in the Middle

Okay, this is one that sometimes shows up on the self-mocking lists I mentioned earlier. But I promise this is one of the true perks of being single. Even the most pro-coupling people must admit: Having your own bed allows you to sleep well. You’ll never worry (consciously or unconsciously) about waking someone up. The only alarm going off in the morning will be your own. No one will snore, talk, or kick in their sleep, waking you throughout the night. No matter how you slice it, nothing is as restful as having a bed of your own.

4. Designing Your Own Space

Yes you can do this with a partner, but it’s so much fun to do it on your own! You can do absolutely whatever you want with your space. No compromising on an ugly wall color, no sacrificing your hobby room for theirs, no shared office spaces with clashing styles. You can bring every home decor pin on your Pinterest board to life. No matter how small your space is, it’s all yours. Do with it what you will.

5. Solitude

You’ve heard it before: being alone is not the same as being lonely. Solitude give us the necessary space to learn to truly love ourselves. If being alone makes you uncomfortable, don’t run away from it. Take up meditation, learn to be present and at peace with yourself. Even if being around others is what makes you feel alive, learning to love your own company is the vital foundation that allows all your other relationships to thrive.

6. Money

Ah, ever the uncomfortable topic. As you likely already know, one of the number one topics couples argue about is money. People have very deep-rooted and passionate beliefs about money. Money is intimately connected to one’s ability to earn a living, and to one day retire. So it’s no surprise that when finances are merged, friction ensues.

When you’re flying solo, you are in complete control of your money. Not only does this mean you’re not fighting with someone else, it’s totally empowering! When you can’t rely on anyone else to make the tough choices, you’ll find yourself rising to the challenge.

7. More time to do whatever you love

One thing that solo women have is time. Amazingly, this is so often framed as a negative by TV shows, romcoms, and society in general. You’ve seen the image of the poor, single woman sitting in her home, all alone, nothing on TV, nothing new to read, and no lover to talk to. Such sorrow.

No matter how extroverted or introverted you are, having time to spend as you please is a luxury. Don’t wish it away! If you want to interact with people, go out and do it. You’re not some pioneer woman alone on the prairie, desperate for her husband – the only other human she knows – to come home so she can have someone to communicate with. So don’t treat yourself as though you are.

And if you’re on the introverted side, you’re in luck. You don’t need to sacrifice your solitude to a romantic partner. I know there’s a long list of stuff you’d love to do in your spare time, and that list should not include “mope around wishing I had a partner.”

{Just a bit more…}

You can add on to this list for another several pages, and here’s how: Just ask yourself, “What’s something that married people say they miss about being single?” Whatever answer you get, that’s what you should be thankful for right now. Whether it’s having their own room, jumping in the car for a weekend getaway, or painting the kitchen without argument – enjoy that while you’ve got it. You might not fly solo forever, so cherish this life while it’s here.

Make 2026 the year you love being single.

One of the new products I said I’d release this year is my free email challenge: 30 Days to Love Being Single.

What is it?

This email course is a series of 30 emails (a new one is sent to your inbox each day after signing up) that will challenge you to grow as a single woman. Each email prompts you to take specific actions that will help you learn to love all that your solo life has to offer.

How Can I Be “Happy” About Being Alone?

Being single isn’t a waiting period. It’s a part of your life that you should be enjoying! Unfortunately, in the pro-coupling world we live in, that can be pretty difficult. How are you supposed to love being single when everyone around you is either pitying you or trying to set you up? How do you enjoy something that every sitcom and movie says is a problem to be overcome?

This free, 30-day course explains it all.

Why a 30 day course?

As the old saying goes, 30 days makes a habit. This course is designed to make enjoying your single life a habit – something you do every day without thinking. One new habit, one shift in thinking, one positive outlook you express each day, can truly change your life.

Why should I sign up?

Quite simply, you have nothing to lose and a happier life to gain. This email challenge is 100% FREE! That’s 30 days of free resources tailored to your situation. So if you’re single and not very happy about it, sign up now.

Have you tried the challenge? What do you think so far? Let me know what you love and what didn’t work for you in the comments below.