Single discrimination? Do single people really think they’re being discriminated against? What’s next? Has the world gone made with this PC nonsense?? It’s okay, everyone. Let’s take a (calm and rational) look at single discrimination in the workplace.

In this post you’ll learn:

• What single discrimination is
• Why it matters
• What you can do about it

What is single discrimination?

Single discrimination is a non-legal term referring to the way employers often expect single people to perform more work than their married counterparts. This seems to happen because employers assume single people have more free time, as we don’t have a ‘traditional’ home life.

In my free 30-day email course, I mention my encounter with my co-manager Janice. Janice genuinely and openly believed that single people liked working extra hours because they had “no reason to go home.” She also felt that she (a wife and mother) shouldn’t have to work as many hours because she had a family.

Janice isn’t alone. Unfortunately many employers hold similar views. Single people frequently report being told to work longer or less convenient hours than married workers. When non-married people are frequently treated less favorably than married people due to their marital status, we call it single discrimination.

But… don’t single people have extra time?

Employers seem to forget that single people usually still have families. And even though we don’t have spouses or children, we still have significant familial responsibilities. When it comes to caring for aging parents, the tradition still holds true: single people tend to become the primary caregivers to their parents. But employers still dump extra work on us, assuming that our families (and our free time) are less valuable.

What if you don’t have to take care of a family member?

Listen. Your free time is your free time. If your life choices have brought you to a point where your free time involves binge watching Netflix while binge drinking Coronas, that’s your business. You don’t need to convince your boss that you’re drowning in familial obligations to get your due time off.

But… shouldn’t single people be willing to help out married co-workers?

Look, I get the whole social responsibility thing. When I worked at a grocery store, I always volunteered to work the holidays so my married coworkers could have those days off. I rarely had to host family meals, so it seemed only fair to let those who did have the extra time to do so.

But when I did have to host a Christmas dinner for my family one year, I found out quickly that my boss and co-workers didn’t take my situation seriously. Even though I had to prepare everything myself (remember, no spouse to help out), they told me it was “sweet” that I was going to cook for my parents. They seemed to think I was going to put on my tutu and princess crown and bring my folks breakfast in bed, rather than host a full holiday meal for my extended family.

As they saw it, I didn’t have a ‘real’ family. I didn’t have kids. I didn’t have a husband and in-laws to cook for. While I may have volunteered to work for them for years, they weren’t willing to return the favor. They simply didn’t believe my family was as legitimate as theirs.

Is that really discrimination?

By definition, discrimination means treating someone unequally or unfairly due to a set of characteristics. So yes, requiring single employees to work longer, later, or at inconvenient times based on their marital status is discrimination. However, it’s not unlawful discrimination in the workplace. Marital status is not a protected group.

So what’s the solution to single discrimination?

First, recognize that your time is valuable, whether your boss thinks so or not. Your co workers have chosen (in most cases) to be married and have children, just as you’ve chosen to stay single. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice time doing what you wish so that they can spend more time doing what they wish.

Don’t get me wrong, you should still be considerate. If your co-worker needs to take her kid to their first day of kindergarten or take her husband in for surgery, accommodate her if you can. But if you need to help your mother move or take your cat to the vet (hey, no spouse can do it for you and you can’t let the poor thing suffer), take the time you need to do these things. And if your boss consistently expects you to cover because you ‘don’t have a family,’ feel free to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

{Learn how to rock your career as a single woman}

Your time is no less valuable because you aren’t married. You are no less valuable because you aren’t married. You can be a nice person and a helpful co-worker without being a doormat.

Have you experienced single discrimination? How did it affect your career? Share your experiences in the comments below.

Images provided by Kaboompics

Even the most contentedly introverted among us feels lonely at times. As a solo woman—someone who sees herself as happily single—it’s easy to feel like loneliness is a symptom of defeat, failure to love your single life. But there’s nothing wrong with being lonely and single. Loneliness is a normal, human emotion, even for the happiest solo woman.

Unless your feelings of loneliness are persistent and affecting your daily life, they’re probably not cause to doubt your lifestyle. Just as feeling occasionally angry or sad wouldn’t make you second-guess your career. Here’s how to deal with being lonely and single as a solo woman.

This post contains affiliate links. Please see our affiliate link disclosure here.

1. Acknowledge and accept the feeling.

Remember that it’s perfectly okay to feel lonesome sometimes. We live in a world that sees feeling lonely as a sign that something is deeply wrong and needs to be righted immediately (this is especially true if you’re lonely and single). Worse, the media we consume usually says that we can get rid of those frightening lonely feelings by finding a partner. Both of these beliefs are wrong. It’s okay to be lonely, and having a loving partner won’t keep you from feeling lonely in the future.

Loneliness simply signifies a need, just like hunger. And you wouldn’t expect to never feel hunger just because you bought a fridge.

2. Figure out why you’re lonely.

What’s causing you to feel lonely? For myself, loneliness normally comes from one of two sources. Either I really want to communicate with someone and have no one around, or I’ve tried to communicate with someone and they either didn’t listen or didn’t understand. In either of these situations, my oasis of solitude can like a prison room at the top of a tower.

It may be entirely different for you. Take a few moments to look within and find out why you’re feeling lonely. Then acknowledge that reason. For me, this goes like, “I tried to explain my feelings to my best friend, and she didn’t understand. Now I look around my home and it feels empty and lacking.”

3. Believe that your feelings are okay.

Remember, feeling lonely while single doesn’t mean you’re not a strong, solo woman. It just means you need social interaction like every other healthy human being. Our parents, society, and popular culture have trained us to believe that the first flutterings of loneliness are heralds to the loneliness apocalypse (loneli-pocalypse?), and we’d better change our ways lest we end up forever alone.

You wouldn’t believe you had a digestive problem every time you felt hunger, would you? Of course not. Because we understand that hunger signifies a normal need, not an unfulfilled life. In the same way, occasionally feeling lonely means you need some social interaction, not a total lifestyle overhaul.

4. Either let the feeling pass, or adjust your thinking.

Sometimes, you just need to let yourself feel lonely. If you’re in a situation where talking to someone at that moment isn’t an option, or if you’re feeling sad from being ignored or misunderstood, it’s okay to feel lonely. Remind yourself that this feeling is fine, and that it will pass.

You can also examine your situation from a more helpful point of view. In my case, I’d say to myself, “Having one poor conversation doesn’t mean that things are hopeless and that my life is lacking.” Getting rid of that feeling that the loneli-pocalypse is upon me usually makes everything seem better.

5. Do something.

You don’t want your response to the first few pangs of loneliness to be to run out into the world and search for someone to get rid of this feeling. Being lonely and single is fine, and it’s vital to accept that. Trust me, it’ll save you from some panicked (and therefore bad) decisions. To compare loneliness to hunger again, when you felt your stomach rumble, you wouldn’t drop whatever you’re doing and shove the first piece of food you found into your mouth just to avoid feeling hungry for a few moments, would you? Of course not. You know that hunger doesn’t mean something’s wrong, and most of us can sit with hunger for a few minutes without fearing that we’ll starve to death. Loneliness is the same way.

Having said that, once you’ve accepted your feelings, do something about them. As I said earlier, loneliness signifies a need for social interaction. If you’re in a situation where you can call a friend or go out for coffee, go ahead. If not, find some other way to meet that need.

When I’m feeling lonely due to feeling ignored or misunderstood, I’ve found it very helpful to write. Not only is this productive (making me feel accomplished), it helps to alleviate the source of my loneliness. When I write a blog and post it, my readers read it. Someone’s hearing me after all. What I write doesn’t even have to be related to what I wanted to express to that other person. Sometimes I just want to feel heard.

Just remember that being lonely and single doesn’t mean something is wrong or that the solo lifestyle isn’t for you. Don’t over-think yourself into a panic. It’s okay to feel lonely now and then.

When is being lonely and single a sign of something more serious?

Of course, the solo lifestyle isn’t for everyone. How do you know if it’s for you? Just remember that the “cure” for loneliness isn’t a partner. If you’re feeling lonely more often than you think you should, it’s probably best to work on your own social interactions with others instead of pretending that binding another person to you will fix things.

Seek out a partner if you believe being in a relationship would help you live your best life, not because you’re afraid of feeling lonely.

What do you think? Is it perfectly normal for people to feel lonely, no matter how happy their lives are? Let me know in the comments below.

All images provided by Kaboompics

We already know that being childfree is the single most effective way to reduce your carbon footprint. But what about being single? Isn’t living alone wasteful? Well, unless you’re living in a Tiny House fueled entirely by renewable energy, yes. Living alone is inherently more wasteful than shared living.

Why? It’s because we singles tend to

• consume more wasteful food products
• use more energy per individual (compared to those who share utilities)
• (possibly) drive alone more often
• throw away more food

But there’s good news. If you love your solo life, there are plenty of ways you can reduce your carbon footprint even further and make your solo home eco friendly.

{If you like the ideas in this post, make sure you download the FREE checklist at the end!}

Living an environmentally friendly, solo lifestyle

1. Recycle

In my area, it’s almost impossible to find an apartment complex that offers recycling. Even if you live somewhere that doesn’t offer a recycling service, recycle anyway. It’s a pain (especially when you realize just how quickly a single person can accumulate a trunk’s worth of recyclables), but it’s worth it. Some places will even pay you a small amount for your aluminum cans, which offsets some of the hassle of driving the stuff out to the recycling center yourself.

This post contains affiliate links. Please see our affiliate link disclosure here.

2.Watch your utilities

When you live alone, your water bill is going to be noticeably lower than when you live with others. The same may be true for your energy bill as well. But don’t forget that just because it’s not costing you a lot of money, doesn’t mean you’re not wasting resources. Keep an eye on how much you consume, especially if your utilities are included in your rent.

3. Buy a space heater

Consider shutting off your central heat, especially if you live in a single-family house. Since you’ll only be in one room at a time, heating your entire house isn’t just inefficient, it’s wasteful. To stay warm in the chilly months, buy an energy-efficient space heater instead.

REMEMBER – Please always follow all of your space heater’s safety instructions to the letter, and use central heating at night.

4. Cut down on food waste

It’s easy to waste more food when you’re living alone. Outside of freezer meals for one (which have a lot of unnecessary and wasteful packaging), food just isn’t portioned for someone living alone. Fresh fruit and veggies are especially difficult to consume before they go bad. Thankfully, My Domaine has a great guide on how to avoid food waste as a single person.

{Wouldn’t it be great to have this info in a simple checklist you can refer to later? Just keep reading…}

5. Compensate in other ways

Having one fewer child may be the most significant way to reduce your carbon footprint, but why stop there? If you’re worried that your solo lifestyle is wasteful, consider making one of the other most effective lifestyle changes:

• ditch solo driving
• fly less
• go vegetarian
• buy green energy

What not to worry about

Before I close this, I also want to remind you of a few things you shouldn’t be worrying over. Is living alone wasteful? Compared to sharing resources with a roommate, yes. But compared to the average American lifestyle? No. Remember that an eco-conscious solo person like you is already likely doing better than the average soccer mom, so bear that in mind next time you’re thinking about how much energy you could save if you shared your fridge space with a roomie.

The biggest false concern I hear is how we single folks aren’t getting the most energy-efficient usage of our square footage. This usually comes in the form of the old, “What will you do with all that space? A family should live here” line. And sure, taking on a roommate will reduce your carbon footprint. But simply having more air under your roof doesn’t automatically make you more wasteful.

We Americans really like to think in terms of what’s the best deal per unit of measurement. And in general that’s fine. But when it comes to getting the most value for your square footage… those numbers can get a bit skewed. For instance, if your well-meaning friend really thinks you’d be doing better by filling your extra bedroom with a baby, she overlooking a few very important factors. As far as preserving our planet’s natural resources goes, it’s much better to be a single person in a two-bedroom apartment than a family of five.

{Thank you for reading this article! Download your FREE checklist below to help you keep track of the eco-conscious changes you’re making in your solo life.}

Has anyone ever hassled you about your “wasteful” solo lifestyle? Have you heard the “a family should live here!” line before? Share your stories in the comments below.

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